Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy