Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

well that was a long night...

(609): View more from New Jersey

dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?

(908): View more from New Jersey

no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on

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(908): well that was a long night... (609): dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened? (908): no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on http://tfl.nu/y1mz

Replies (11) Good night (3256) Bad night (487)
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(330): View more from Ohio

just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c

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(330): just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c http://tfl.nu/s239

Replies (5) Good night (3206) Bad night (790)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I don't remember what your face looks like..

(727): View more from Florida

I don't remember your face either, just your dick.

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(248): I don't remember what your face looks like.. (727): I don't remember your face either, just your dick. http://tfl.nu/odit

Replies (19) Good night (6368) Bad night (950)
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(585): View more from New York

I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.

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(585): I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys. http://tfl.nu/354b

Replies (19) Good night (5424) Bad night (1801)
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(703): View more from Virginia

i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me

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(703): i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me http://tfl.nu/jgjv

Replies (8) Good night (4326) Bad night (1005)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.

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(920): I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either. http://tfl.nu/oep9

Replies (3) Good night (2749) Bad night (836)
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(360): View more from Washington

You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?

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(360): You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right? http://tfl.nu/c6gn

Replies (10) Good night (2612) Bad night (1115)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE

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(203): We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE http://tfl.nu/bmko

Replies (7) Good night (3787) Bad night (895)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.

(517): View more from Michigan

We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by

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(517): Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity. (517): We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by http://tfl.nu/0fvy

Replies (9) Good night (3037) Bad night (834)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.

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(515): Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me. http://tfl.nu/qah0

Replies (9) Good night (621) Bad night (1849)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.

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(720): I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony. http://tfl.nu/wqpi

Replies (15) Good night (2400) Bad night (968)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....

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(910): I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself..... http://tfl.nu/3gq0

Replies (4) Good night (1278) Bad night (571)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

Why did you want to do any of that?

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.

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(814): He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away. (1-814): Why did you want to do any of that? (814): If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them. http://tfl.nu/bo9q

Replies (4) Good night (1148) Bad night (650)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.

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(617): In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame. http://tfl.nu/9nrq

Replies (0) Good night (340) Bad night (453)
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(716): View more from New York

I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her

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(716): I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her http://tfl.nu/4jwu

Replies (4) Good night (365) Bad night (169)

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