Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
