That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I puked off the balcony.
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life