dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours