So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.