I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
