Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  All I've ever wanted to do in life is right

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Maybe you should learn how to spell write first

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  (313): All I've ever wanted to do in life is right (517): Maybe you should learn how to spell write first http://tfl.nu/4u4l
  Replies (19) Good night (747) Bad night (1284)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  Mike i'm at church right now...

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  (214): I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis... (1-214): Mike i'm at church right now... http://tfl.nu/uslc
  Replies (17) Good night (4253) Bad night (937)
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  (909): View more from California

  flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart

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  (909): flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart http://tfl.nu/bteu
  Replies (17) Good night (4990) Bad night (1897)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.

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  (623): she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five. http://tfl.nu/kcej
  Replies (22) Good night (4513) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.

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  (603): I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot. http://tfl.nu/xny3
  Replies (35) Good night (5491) Bad night (1509)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.

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  (916): He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car. http://tfl.nu/y9if
  Replies (15) Good night (5208) Bad night (1308)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain

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  (905): heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain http://tfl.nu/cvqd
  Replies (24) Good night (1143) Bad night (3567)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.

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  (256): FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation. http://tfl.nu/7b12
  Replies (28) Good night (1355) Bad night (7477)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.

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  (517): the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into. http://tfl.nu/bckk
  Replies (14) Good night (2955) Bad night (1806)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.

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  (770): You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL. http://tfl.nu/941m
  Replies (3) Good night (938) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on

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  (616): Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on http://tfl.nu/6qf1
  Replies (2) Good night (1011) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.

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  (814): his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun. http://tfl.nu/so1p
  Replies (2) Good night (405) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.

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  (484): His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/tfvq
  Replies (2) Good night (294) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done

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  (301): Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done http://tfl.nu/5hl8
  Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me

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  (413): alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me http://tfl.nu/w53h
  Replies (3) Good night (483) Bad night (203)

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