thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
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It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
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I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.