Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank

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(516): I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank http://tfl.nu/rnlw

Replies (22) Good night (860) Bad night (2065)
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(206): View more from Washington

You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..

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(206): You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack.. http://tfl.nu/nf69

Replies (61) Good night (18105) Bad night (1348)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them

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(201): I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them http://tfl.nu/szer

Replies (14) Good night (2582) Bad night (6592)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.

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(609): I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke. http://tfl.nu/r10e

Replies (27) Good night (4979) Bad night (1388)
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(360): View more from Washington

Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.

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(360): Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk. http://tfl.nu/ed4r

Replies (12) Good night (4625) Bad night (834)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster

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(701): So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster http://tfl.nu/imtg

Replies (13) Good night (1121) Bad night (3599)
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(806): View more from Texas

Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that

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(806): Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that http://tfl.nu/ovs4

Replies (8) Good night (2752) Bad night (942)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."

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(843): I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with." http://tfl.nu/8haz

Replies (2) Good night (1735) Bad night (775)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.

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(774): Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist. http://tfl.nu/bzfc

Replies (9) Good night (3988) Bad night (1429)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.

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(321): You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again. http://tfl.nu/b1s4

Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (1258)
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(425): View more from Washington

Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?

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(425): Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios? http://tfl.nu/2jhx

Replies (13) Good night (583) Bad night (1443)
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(231): View more from Michigan

if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid

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(231): if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid http://tfl.nu/52hr

Replies (3) Good night (744) Bad night (2042)
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(785): View more from Kansas

As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.

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(785): As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester. http://tfl.nu/qann

Replies (7) Good night (790) Bad night (503)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.

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(250): You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette. http://tfl.nu/i44j

Replies (1) Good night (801) Bad night (385)
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(586): View more from Michigan

This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder

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(586): This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder http://tfl.nu/va12

Replies (2) Good night (256) Bad night (397)

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