I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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