So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
