you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
