doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
