Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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