hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
