So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
