my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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