Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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