tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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