things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
