Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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