Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
