I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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