Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
