Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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