I heard we made out
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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