my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
