She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
