my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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