he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
