Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
is wine microwaveable?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
