you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
