The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
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She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
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The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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