I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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