This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
