She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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