I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
