We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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