The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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