what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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