PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize