he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
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It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
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Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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