So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
