He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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