oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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