fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize