sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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