he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
