420 ftw
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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