Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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