You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
