I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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