I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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