I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
