he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
