how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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