is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize