and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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