You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
