I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
