i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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