I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
