i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
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I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
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Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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