So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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