are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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