not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
pray to the hookup gods
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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