I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
