Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize