he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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