You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
