theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
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There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
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Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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