ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
sex in a hospital.. check
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
