two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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