i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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