he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize