So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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