I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize