would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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